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Lolcat - lolcat.txt

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An Ceiling Cat wuz rly sry dat he had madez ppl on teh urf, An it maded him
i wil maeks u teh bosscat ov my base, An u wil tellz all teh ppl wot 2 do: im teh only 1 gonna b ur bosscat cuz i
An his bros sed 2 him, wtf u ben smokin? u think u b king
Jacob sez "WRU?"
An all teh dais ov enosh waz 900 An 5 yeers: An him got ded.
as bbq An htey burnt up a moocow An a sheepl An lotz ov catnipz An Ceiling Cat sed kthx ur rly g00d peepz An i lieks u alot
I can haz salvation yet, ceiling cat?
An Ceiling Cat said "cain, where iz mah abel???"
An teh 7 skinny ugly moocowz r 7 years; An teh 7 dryd up cormz meanz tehr wil b 7 bad years ov no cheezbur
othr wiez w
kthxbai.
we iz 12 bros but 1 of dem got ded An our kidbro is bak at our old manz base.
and I kin sez "OHai luk teh raynbo," becuz u and me and teh aminulz are hella gud frenz; I no makes te
an wen Laban showed up, she wuz all, "D00d, iz Taht Time of Teh Month, piss off."
An pharo axt Jacob how old r u?
n he got all emo. srsly. An he cryed An stufz An all teh Egyptians in pharos base hurd him but taht wuz k cuz menz wuz alou
rgrz An cookies: An they saw a crew ov Ishmeelites form Gilead goin 2 egypt with lotz ov camels An all kindz ov rly gud her
She ploop out yet another called Judah n sed "TNX Ceiling cat no moar plz hurtz, KTHNX"
An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh
An Ceiling Cat saw dat teh ppl on teh urfs wuz
We be talkin bout Abraham's boi Ishmael taht Hagar who walk leik Egiptian ploop out when she wus workin 4 Sarah
stufs An said gon 2 egyptz An not brb k bai. An dey caem to Beer-sheba An jacob sed we can has bbq An htey burnt up a mooco
We be talkin bout Abra
letz all ov u comz bak saef. If u getz pwnzd i wil be all sad An emo An can haz hart atacxx An stufz but wtf if u duznt go
An jacobs kid Gad had teh kidz Ziphion An Haggi An Shuni An Ezbon An Eri An Arodi
swear U not be like NO CAN HAS to me or anything wif my DNA, U be like C
Leah sez "YOU CAN NO HAS my cookiez as I can no do PENIS GOES WHERE? with Jacob"
An wen all teh
we wuz in ur field harvestin ur weetz cuz it wuz farmrz dai off (cuz dey maded untied farmwrkrz union dammit), An
newaiz frum deez 3 bro
Lot sez to hiz daughters fiances (teh 1 s he wuz gonna let the hole town do PENIS GOES WHERE w
zz ov cormz in tehr taht no 1 cud countz tehm. wich wuz gud cuz popcorm had ben nventd An all teh peeps liekd 2 eatz popcor
An teh isrealitz livd in go
. So joseph brought his sons close 2 him, an his fathr kisd them an embracd them an snorgled them and then forgoted their n
Any kitteh with teh dangl
An teh eyez ov them both were opend, An they knew dat theyz were showin teh nakedz An stuff cuz Ceiling Cat didnt
An he got all emo. srsly. An he cryed An stufz An all teh Egyptians in
am. She sed, "yr fawlt I is not happy. You and my bukkit holdr made kittehs and kittehs made her sasseh. The Invisible Man
eh filez in ppls hedz iz all corruptd An dey keep emailin em 2 all ther frendz. i should haev kept it in Beta longr :(
n Ceiling Cat sez to him
ll fludz n' stuff, Shem was liek a hunnerd yrz old, and he finilly got doen to bizness makin teh babeez. He namez furst bab
Whoda thunk it?? Im all old, but Ceiling Cat restorded ma ovaries."
tted it on Hagar's shoulderz and sended her off wif the boi. She was in ur deserts lookin for ur waterz. srsly, it was cal
an he continud "Any my n00bs touch her gets teh ded"
An jacob sed thx muchz to Ceiling Cat cuz i can se
"I'll make you get lots and lots of kittehs."
Abram was really old when Hagar haz kittens.
But Jacob iz a lier lolz cuz he goez to Succoth n buildz crib 4 him n his cattlez n cattlez have
An teh butler
And Sarah LOLed and waz liek "WTF!? NO WAI! WE R TEH OLD!!11 LOL"
An 1 nite teh butler d00d An teh bakr d00d bof had wierd dremz An teh butler d00d dremd about grapez
Reu liveded only 207 yrz longer, tho he too maeded more babeez.

And Ceiling Cat sez to Noah, “Teh raynbo meens u and me are teh frenz, k?”
An Ceiling Cat saw dat teh ppl on teh urfs wuz all wikkid An mean An evil, An dat ppl th
An Ceiling Cat said unto teh woman, wat did u dun?
An teh sons ov Ceiling Cat
She ploop out another calld Simeon n sez "Ceiling c
Celing Cat sez 2 him,
An all his otehr bros got all emo 2 An it wuz rly rly huggz tiem. srsly.
An teh urf wuz corruptd An messed up, An teh urfs wuz filld wif meanies.
but liek i jus sed teh mean bosscat d00d sez, if ben dosent com wif us we no can goes bak.
And Ham, Canaan's daddi and nawt teh lunch meats, sees
An teh hol famlyz sed gone 2 egyptz An not brb kbai. An wuz alrdy big famlyz cuz jacob can has 4 wiefs An dey did alot ov
n bukkitzz ov cormz in tehr taht no 1 cud countz tehm. wich wuz gud cuz popcorm had ben nventd An all teh peeps liekd 2 eat
"So liek teh
Visible Raynbo iz in teh s
An letz all ov u comz bak saef. If u getz pwnzd i wil be all sad An emo An can haz hart atacxx An stufz but wtf if u duznt
and teh man and teh woman weared invisible close!
Leah getted preggerz n ploop out boy Ruben n sed "Ceiling cat see me sad, now Jacob luv me 2" (boy later go on to maek sam
An htats how dey stil duz thingz in teh egyptz. sum of teh f00dz is belong 2 pharo An teh rest is blong 2 teh ppl but al
An he sed i iz lookin 4 my bros who iz gon 2 get
puts so meny bukkitz An bukkitzz ov cormz in tehr taht no 1 cud countz tehm. wich wuz gud cuz popcorm had ben nventd An al
An teh skyz an teh Urfs wur finishd, an al teh stufz in dem, an
Ifs u sees teh clowdz, u no kin sez, "Oh N
ffs Shem did. Two yeerz after teh Urfs wuz all fludz n' stuff, Shem was liek a hunnerd yrz old, and he finilly got doen to
And he sed to 3 doodz "here, you can has"
Rachel sez "I WIN", n call hims Naphtali, but Jacob just be smilin
ll ov u comz bak saef. If u getz pwnzd i wil be all sad An emo An can haz hart atacxx An stufz but wtf if u duznt go i wil
ark, An cover it wif tar on teh insidez An outsiedz. An noah sed wait a minit u cant getz wood frm gophrs, u has 2 use tree
h sed we no steelz nething An u gotz 2 bleev us. Ceiling Cat knos wot happnd An if we steelz nethin u can pwnz us or puts u
Leah eyez point different directionz but Rachel pretty n she stacked
and sez "I pay moniez I rl
4 Ceiling Cat noes dat, teh dai u eat dat
An when his bros saw taht Jacob liekd Joseph mor than ne ov dem, dey hatez him An getz all pissed off An st
den she gived him delicious cakez n cookiez she maided.
dem aminals An stuff, An Ceiling Cat sed stfu i iz givez dem all rael bad constipashun so dont worry about it. An noah sed
ls. noah hung out wif Ceiling Cat alot An lissend 2 tunez An played pokemons An stuff.. An sum tiems Ceiling Cat even letz
dz An stuff cuz Ceiling Cat didnt gaev dem no furz liek teh aminals; An they sewd sum fig-leavez togethr, An made themselve
adez al teh aminals on teh urfs an in teh see, an al teh burdz up in sky (an sum liek ostrijes who cudnt flyz, just fur fun
Abram had gots menny moocowz and chikenz(notz freid) and piggs and such b
An he got all emo. srsly. An he cryed An stufz An a
Peleg took afta grampa Shelah an maed babeez at 30 yrz old, and was teh dad ov R
Taek all
Jobab dieded 2, then Husham wuz boss.
Jacob sez "YOU CAN NOT HAS COOKIEZ, but givh me
But givez back Abraham his s
n she sez U CAN HAS MAI BUCKET and ur camuels too.
This place be stairway to heaven, where Zeppelin be at?"
z An moocows An sheepz An kittehs bak 2 egypt: An I wil maekz base 4 htem An dey can has lotz ov cheezburgrz An cookies An
Abraham wuz hunderd yeers old at da time.


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