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Lolcat - lolcat.txt

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Judah was liek "OMG LOL she winz! bcz I wouldn't let her marry mai son Shelah." There wuz no more har
An Ceiling Cat sed Jaco
An Ceiling Cat sa
Ishmael will getz cheezburgrz l8r when he becomes al
but ur kittehs won't have cheezburgrz cuz u peed in mai bedz! An scratched mai couch!"
make invisible Ceiling Cat magic on her an she give u tiny kitteh with dangly bits. Nayshuns and kingz will come out of h
An Ceiling Cat was leik "Bring me moocow, goat and rams but only 3 yeerz old with a white burd an
He setz up altar dere n callz it EL-elohe-yisrael da
An l8r wen dey had eated up all t
n they blessed Rebeka n sed:
der wuz hungryz An starvashunz An bad stufz liek taht all ovr teh urths An joseph sed u can haz cheezburgrz An cookies An
howse abouts the lettle town ovar thar? Pwe
An
An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were F
Cause U sed 'I be makin U rich n lotsa kidlets'"
I can haz salvation yet, ceiling cat?
on teh urfs wuz all wikkid An mean An evil, An dat ppl thot ov wikkid mean evil stuf all teh tiem. An they rited wikkidpedi
teh f00dz wehn we wnet bak 2 our base An mai b he wil getz teh cheef of poleesez 2 trhow us bak in teh dunjun An taht wil
An teh isreali
An lamech said un
tehn Laban say "UR my 1st cousin!"
rm Gilead goin 2 egypt with lotz ov camels An all kindz ov rly gud herbz An weedz An othr rly gud stufz taht wuz liek catni
by teh 20An7 day of teh munf af
An she grabz hold ov his cloths An he runz awai rly fast but she didnt letz go of his cloths so he left dem
An all teh dais ov methuselah waz 900 An 60 An 9 yeers (srsly!): An hi
f00d stamps haznt ben nvntd yet An evn all our moocowz is all hungryz An starvin cuz tehr iznt evn ne gras left cuz dey ea
An Issac an Rebekah sez, "DO NO WANT!"
newaiz frum deez 3 bros, all of teh worldz was ppl-ated.
Leah getted preggerz n ploop out boy Ruben n sed "Ceiling cat see me sad, now Jacob luv me 2" (boy late
An potipharz wief seez taht Joseph wuz teh cute An she sed we can haz sexxs?
lot. An dey can haz wien An cakez An icecereemz An stuffz liek it waz burfdai prty or sumthin An dey wuz all happy An stufs
evry livin thin on teh face ov teh urfz wuz wipd out; d00dz an' animalz an' teh creeturz dat moov along teh
That's why Israelites no can eated teh tendon stuck to teh sock
udah had teh kidz Er An Onan An Shelah An Pharez An Zerah but Er An Onan wuz alrdy got ded. An Pharez had teh kidz Hezron A
In teh mornin, Laban kissie hiz dotters bye bye an wen bak were he com
So liek Noah groes teh grapez.
An we sed we no can goes bak tehre cuz teh bo
An Ceiling Cat sed, i no fites wif p
An Ceiling Cat sed them O hai maek bebehs kthx, An p0wn teh waterz, no waterz An t
So Abram moved his homez and goed to live by teh really big treez and plants and grass of Mamre at H
An Israel whos rael naim wuz Jacob sed how kewl is taht! Joseph iz aliev A
An Abraham saiz "Dewd, my wief Sarah be iz my sistr," an Abimelech iz liek "Lol, thaz messd up" an takd Sarah
4 Ceiling Cat noes dat, teh dai u eat dat froot, den u gon b able to c, An u be liek Ceiling Cat,
An Israel who
An Joseph can has chariot cuz cars wuznt inventd yet An he s
Teh man saiz,
An so teh threeth day jazzhands.
An u wil haz lotz of fudz 4 teh 7 bad year
an Pharaoh said "k"
An all teh dais dat adam livd waz 900 An 30 yeers: An him got
an others; he wuz busy!
An it wuz tiem 4 lunch so dey sitz down An eatz cheezburgrz An cookies: An they saw a crew ov Ishmeelites for
Tehy grabd Lot and his catnipz and cheezburgers, because he i
kidz Bela who wuz not dracula An Becher An Ashbel An Gera An Naaman An Ehi An Rosh An Muppim who wuz not muppet An Huppim A
ere dvdz An stuf An wehn dey axidently dropz popcormz on teh flor teh kittehs thinkx itz toyz An lieks to playz wif it but
So liek Noah sez:
Whoda thunk it?? Im all old, but Ceiling Cat restorded ma ovaries."
nao israels eyez wuz n
An teh 7 skinny ugly moocowz r 7 years; An teh
an any beest ov teh field which Ceiling Cat had made. An he meowed unto teh woman, liek I herd that Ceiling Cat said, u sha
but liek i jus sed teh mean bosscat d00d sez, if ben dosent com wif us we no can goes bak.
An jacobs kid Joseph had teh kidz Manasseh An Ephraim in teh egpyt An ther momcat wuz Asenath.
Bela got ded, so then Jobab wuz boss.
An in teh top bukkit tehre wuz all kindz ov rly gud cookiez 4 pharo but he sed DO NOT WANT!!!!!!!!!! An
Isaac sez "WTF U here 4? U tells me to GTFO?"
ov every kind ov aminal into teh ark, 2 keep them aliv wif u; An mek shur dey r male An femael so dey can meks mor aminals
An jacobs kid Naphtali had teh kidz Jahzeel An Guni An Jezer An Shillem.
Any kitteh with teh dangly bit who not ca
An Abram and L0t wuz liek "MORTAL KOMBAT!!" An Canaanites and Perizzites wuz ther 2
An he taekz 5 ov his bros 2 seez pharo.
when he got pwned. He wuz burreed by his sons Esau n Jacob.
An see, i makez teh flood ov wat
when abram got back he shared cheezburgers with Sodom king
own An eatz cheezburgrz An cookies: An they saw a crew ov Ishmeelites form Gilead goin 2 egypt with lotz ov camels An all k
An Ceiling Cat sed, teh man is alown an dat iz bad; he needz frendz so i wil
U and me r liek teh frenz: I no moar
t undrstanz dem An no 1 can tellz us wtf dey meanz. An Joseph sed Ceiling Cat knos wot dey meanz. tell me wot wuz dey about
akingz mud pies. srsly.) An brot them untew teh man to c what he wud cal tehm: an wut teh man caled evry living aminal, dat
An dey didnt has ne mor moneys. An l8r all teh Egyptians caem 2 Joseph
An he axt tehm y r u all sad An stuf 2dai?
im gonna pwnz tehm An teh whole urfs. all teh filez in ppls hedz iz all corruptd An dey keep emailin em 2 all ther frendz.
teh f00dz dat all teh ppl An aminals lieks 2 eatz, An gathr it up; An it shall b 4 fud 4 u, An 4 them. An noah sed thers go
uch, you can wash my kittehs feet and I will keck j00 out when I r woke. Lolz, teh doodz said, we iz gonna sleep together i
then they eated delicious cake and drinked and sleeped.
n calld his womenz name eve; cuz she was teh mothr of all livn' and cuz if he nameded her bertha he woulda benn lold at all
as teh kid tubal-cain, An he An his kidz maded all teh knifes An swordz An razrbladez An other sharp metal stuf: An teh sis
An it wuz tiem 4 lunch so dey sitz down An eatz cheezb
e axed him bout hiz wife Rebeka, n he sed "She mai sister" cause she so buteamus n l00k leik Natalie Portman covered in hot
told u dat u was ta NOM teh holy fud? I waz injoyin watchin you be not NOMin. Did youz eated ov teh tree, dat I told u dat
Ishmael will
An i wil givz u lotz of cheezburg
tehy turn back an went to En Mishpat, and they has whole base now of Amalekites and Amorites in Hazazon Tama
An all teh dais ov lamech waz 700 An 70 An 7 yeers: An him got ded.
Take my pressie, cuz I broughtz it 2 u all dis way on a camel, n Ceiling Cat li
llz u Zaphnath-paaneah wich iz rly hard 2 speel but teh egipshunz had rly weird riting taht wuz all maed out ov pitchurs ns
Abrams explorded all his base.
Jacob does visible kiss with Isaac, when Isaac smellz Jacob he sez:
An Ceiling Cat calld unto teh man, An meowed unto him, "
AN!! u stole awl my l00t! So, liek I sez -
"U CAN HAS anything U wantz"


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