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Lolcat - lolcat.txt

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so i sed to our old man i wil taeks caer ov him An if he getz ded u can pwnz me or wot evr.
So Esau roamded moer and goez to
i wil maeks u teh bos
Urfs no can has plantz n treez n catnipz yet, cuz Ceiling Cat no can maek rainz, but iz ok for k
But Shem and Japheth tooks sum cloethz n put dem on Noah cuz he wuz drunkz.
see, if we tookz him wif us b4 we cud alrdy haz mor cheezburgrz An cookies An stuffz.
An sum wierd d00dz calld Nephilim wer in teh urfs in dose dais to scroos teh
An dey didnt kno dat Joseph undrstoodz dem.
For 12th years tey suffer t
l An wuznt illegalz yet cuz Ceiling Cat didnt mek ne lawz yet but taht wuz ok cuz he wuz gonna maek alot of lawz l8r in exo
than he, and always win at pokemonz and get hottest date at promz, an his childrenz will become group ov nashuns and will
when abram got back he shared cheezburgers with Sodom king
So den Terah tookded Abram, Lot, and Sarai and ran off out ov Ur ov Chaldeans. He ment to hed to Canaan, but dey stopde
scendants aftr u. srsly. Essept mebe otha peepol will also say iz their posesshun and will be lots of MORTAL KOMBAT and stu
Boi An gurl creatd himz, an givd cheezburgrz, An calld their naim adam (teh peeps
t his cloths here An ran awai nekid. but she didnt tellz him she thot joseph wuz teh cute An he wuz rly totaly teh cute whe
An owt ov teh grownd Ceiling Cat madez al teh a
He thinkz "If Essau n hiz GI Joes eated 1 group, the udder may not be eated".
An Ceiling Cat can haz teh rib fr
howse abouts the lettle town ovar thar? Pweese? cauze lettle town is lettle." (lettle to
then they eated delicious cake and drinked and sleeped.
in teh top bukkit tehre wuz all kindz ov rly gud cookiez 4 pharo but he sed DO NOT WANT!!!!!!!!!! An he chopd of my hed An
wry about all ur otehr stufs cuz u can has all new stuffs form teh egyptz. An not walmart stuffz either, u can haz teh rly
An htose kids momcat wuz Leah An hter sis wuz Dinah so tehr wuz 30 An 3 ov
neakay than any beest ov teh field which Ceiling Cat had made. An he meowed unto teh woman, liek I herd that Ceiling Cat sa
e An told hiz old man all teh wikkid stuffs dey did like raedin wikkidpedia An masturbatin An smokin weedz An stealin pplz
An Ceiling Cat madez evry tre dat iz prity, an gud fur fud; teh tre ov lief wuz in teh gardun to, an teh tre ov t
newaiz
An Abraham went wit Isaac an servnts to Beer-sheba 4 long va
look in all our bukki
Ceiling Cat say, "Kthxbai!"
Eber waeted 34 yrz to has babeez,
After Abraham get deded, Ceiling cat giv
An Ceiling Cat calld un
ch but pigz wuz stil k cuz abram An hiz peepz wuznt rly joos yet so kosher wuznt invntd yet. he gots too lots of teh shynee
we
es An cornz An catf00dz An catnipz cuz htere wil b 5 mor yrs ov hungerz An starvashunz An no cheezburgrz An no cookies An i
ersheba cause those doodz sweared oath there (Beersheba iz funny bibbel naim 4 well ov 7 or well ov oath, we not rly shur).
After Abraham get deded, Ceiling cat gived Isaac Ceheezburgerz n stuff when he was at Beer Lahai
i can callz a tree a gophr if i wantz cuz i iz Ceiling Cat. so stfu An go getz ur hammerz An sawz An stuff. An noah sed k,
An Ceiling Cat caused a deep sleep to fal upawn t
the was delicios cakes but he not eated it, he sez
After Abraham get deded, Ceiling cat gived Isaac Ceheezburgerz n stuff when he
Abe sed, "Shez YR bukkit holdr. No srsly." So Sarai to
and cry cause she dont wanna see boi get ded and dry
Yer dad leik totally iz hatin on me, srsly! Ceiling Cat lurves me, but yer dad is awl
an wantz to rest an so will be servant an licks feetz."
the was delicios cakes but he not eated it, he
When yous plowen teh urf, it gonna b hard n stuffz; fugitiev n wanderr youz bees in da urf.
But of teh tre of teh nawlej of gud an evl, you not eatz cuz wen u eatz taht tr
yo d00dz, i hurd dat tehr iz fudz An catnipz An stuff
She ploop out nother 1 called Levi n sed
An cuz pharo dremd teh sam drem 2x it meanz taht Ceiling
so dont pwnz
she never do PENIS GOES WHERE? and waz pretty, She fill BUCKET with waterz
hey sed 2 each otehr, We rly fuxxed up wif our othr bro An didnt lissen 2 him An we did wikkid mean evil stuf 2 him An nao
So den Terah tookded Abram, Lot, and Sarai and ran off out ov Ur ov Chaldeans.
Ceiling Cat sez
"Napthali, ur bum iz gassy. But u talk nice, so iz k."
trys 2 maekz him feelz mor betr but wuz no workin An he sed i iz gonna b all sad An emo til i diez. so he kept on bein all
An teh hole urf is larj liek really big hairball
Any kitteh with teh dangly bit who not can has cut,
eh kidz Bela who wuz not dracula An Becher An Ashbel An Gera An Naaman An Ehi An Rosh An Muppim who wuz not muppet An Huppi
An teh 7 dryd up ears eated up teh 7 rly gud ear
cause when all this started, he put in INVISIBLE DIAPHRAM.
4ty dayz latrz Noah guy openz teh window he hadz maed inna teh beeg bote
Lettle daughter plop out boy called Ben-(ken)Ammi who be father of (ken)Amminoites today n sing gud.
I gots'ta confuzzle 'em and stop 'em!"
Srsly, asks me 4 all mah cheezburger
An Jacob sed wtf Joseph is ded An Simeon iz in teh prison An u will taek Benjamin 2 egypt An prity soon
Abraham sez "K BFF kthnx"
Then Samlah got ded, Shaul wuz next boss.
And Ceiling Cat sez to N
An t
An u tellz dem we is shepherds An has lotz ov moo cowz An
Israel leevz her dere n goez on 2 Migdal-eder.
Ceiling cat memberd Abraham and didn't pwn A Lot.
WHERE!? An had teh kidz Bela who wuz not dracula An Becher An Ashbel An Gera An Naaman An Ehi An Rosh An Muppim who wuz no
An so teh threeth day jazzhands.
he musta comes out backwards) so theys names him Jacob (which is funny bibel nam 4 grabbs heelz or deceiver). Isaac wus 60
strvashunz. so u can haz all our base An we can has cheezbugrz An cookies An stuf k? An we can has seedz 2 An we wil werk o
An wehn Joseph seez his bros, he decieded 2 fakez dem out so he made liek he didnt knos dem An h
An htats how dey stil duz thingz in teh egyptz. sum of teh
ishmeelite d00dz taekz Joseph 2 Egypt; An taht egyptian d00d Potiphar who wuz pharos cheef ov poleesez buyed him An gaev te
He sez CAN HAS BUCKET?
An Abimelech is all, "Abraham
he was leik I'm in mai holez unpluggin mai waterz taht teh Philistines plugged up
An she wuz buggin Joseph evry dai 2 haz secks wif her but he wudnt do it even tho he w
An Israel whos rael naim wuz jacob sed wtf u st00pid n00bz, y u tellz bosscat u haz othr bro?
um d00dz livin there axed him bout hiz wife Rebeka, n he sed "She mai sister" cause she so buteamus n l00k leik Natalie Por
And Abraham sed "OMG, but wat if has 20?" and Ceiling Cat sed "i wont if has 20"
eh garden ov eden teh cherubim An stuff, An teh flaming (lol) sword which turned everywherez (an if yu evar caem up 2 teh s
cam 2 Egypt 2 by ppl fudz An catfoodz An catnipz An stuffs cuz der wuz hungryz An starvashunz An bad stufz liek taht all o
fludz n' stuff, Shem was liek a hunnerd yrz old, and he finilly got doen to bizness makin teh babeez. He namez furst babee
all sad An emo An stuff An cryed but he didnt letz dem seez An den he cam bak An took hiz bro Simeon An puts him bak in te
An noah begat 3 sons, shem, ham, An japheth. but i alrdy told u that.
he sez "WTF? Ceiling Cat may get pissed"
Make gynormus bote calld ark ov gophr wud; maek roomz in
So she told Abraham 2 tell Hagar the slavezor and her n00b son to GTFO, cuz she didn't want them to has no
an with the walrus and hiz bukket an dey were lotz of kittehs


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