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Lolcat - lolcat.txt

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wuz jacob sed 2 Joseph, did ur bros gon 2 Shechem 2 getz cookies 4 teh sheepz? i wantz u 2 goez An mek shur deyz alrite. An
An dey sed we use to liv in teh canaan but u tellz us we can has base in teh egpytz cuz our moocows dosent has ne f0
all maed out ov pitchurs nsted ov lettrz; An he letz him marry Asenath wich is rly wierd naim 4 a grrrl cuz it soundz kind
rf; ppl An moo cows An creepy crawlyz An burdz ov teh skyz An burdz liek ostridges An stuf who cant flyz; cuz i so sry i ma
an wantz to rest an so will be servant an licks feetz."
We r all br
And Abraham sed "k, dont b mad, thsi is last tiem I promiz, bu
Den Ceiling Cat sez "Oh noes, if they all togethr after mah hi spot, they gonna get mah hi spot!
rael whos rael naim wuz jacob taekz all hiz wiefs An hiz kidz An ther wiefs An hter kidz An his kittehs An hiz moo cowz An
Esau sed "WTF!!1!!1!!! gimmeh cheezburgerz too OMFG, BOHICA"
When Reuben wuz harvestin wheat he find cookiez, He gived teh delicious cookiez to hiz mom Le
Whial teh menz be movin' eest, they finded vallee in teh land uv Shinar an sitted ther.
and cry cause she dont wanna see boi get ded and dry up like prune
An if his kid bro getz ded i wil be so sad An emo An stuffz, i can has hart attackxxz An stuf An get ded.
An his bros w
An l8
Boi An gurl creatd himz, an givd cheezburgrz, An c
An sum wierd d00dz calld Nephilim wer in teh urfs i
An zillah, she als
An see, i makez teh flood ov waters upon teh hole urf,
Sonz o Jafef
Nahor beet his daddies past and maed babeez at 29, and was teh dad ov Terah.
rstanz dem An no 1 can tellz us wtf dey meanz. An Joseph sed Ceiling Cat knos wot dey meanz. tell me wot wuz dey about An i
ot pwned by bein old, n dey burreed her under an oak beeloo Bethel; so it wuz named Allon-bacuth dat means 'oak of da weepi
Leah sez "Ceiling cat gived me nother ki
An so teh furth day w00t.
I gots'ta confuzzle 'em and stop 'em!"
An she grabz hold ov his cloths An he runz awai rly fast but she didn
Leah sez "YOU CAN NO HAS my cookiez as I can no do PENIS GOES WHERE? with Jacob"
so i sed to our old man i wil taeks caer ov him An if he getz ded u can pwnz me o
if she sez me and camuels CAN HAS BUCKETS, I bring her back."
But i iz taeks care ov u An keeps u safe cuz i lieks u alot.
An they sed 2 each otehr, We rly fuxxed up wif our othr bro An didnt lissen 2 him An we did wikkid m
An u taeks 2 ov every kind ov aminal into teh ark, 2 keep them aliv wif u; An me
when abram got back he shared cheezburgers with Sodom king
An jacobz sons went wif alot of othr peepz 2 by foodz An stuff in egypt cuz lotz of otehr ppl in canaan wuz all h
An dey didnt has ne mor moneys. An l8r all teh Egyptians caem 2 Joseph An sed we can has cheesburgrz An cookies An
old kidz An 1 dai he An his bros wuz givin cookies 2 teh sheeplz. An Joseph wuz brown nose An told hiz old man all teh wikk
An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh qte, An let min p0wnz0r becuz tehy h
sed oh noes, bosscat iz mean d00d An mai b he knos bout teh moneyz wut wuz wif teh f00dz wehn we wnet bak 2 our base An ma
An all teh dais ov seth waz 900 An 12 yeers: An him got ded.
She calls him Joseph n sez "I can has another?"
eest ov teh field which Ceiling Cat had made. An he meowed unto teh woman, liek I herd that Ceiling Cat said, u shall not e
(Bibul speak 4 he decieves) He bited me 2 timez, he tooked mai Inhertance n now he eated my cheezburger, you do no has chee
pls get him and he can has cheezburgerz cause he is h4xx0r now."
An when i sed DO NOT WANT!!!!!!! he lef
o Abram moved his homez and goed to live by teh really big treez and plants and grass of Mamre at Hebron, where he makez a
Isaac sed "WTF? I yust gave cheezburgerz to the last bastard who wuz here, ur AFU"
but liek i jus sed teh mean bosscat d00d sez, if ben dosent com wif us we no can goes bak.
cause when all this started, he put in INVISIBLE DIAPHRAM.
An his bros wuz rly jelus of him; but his old man rmembrd wot he sed.
An Ceiling Cat madez evry tre dat iz pr
An his bros wuz rly jelus of him; but his old man rmembrd wot he
Nothin iz inposbell 4 Ceiling Cat, srsly, she gon be teh preggers!"
An Hadad got ded, so den Samlah iz boss.
An u taeks 2 ov every ki
And Abraham sed "k, dont b mad or shred me, but wat if has 30?" and Ceiling Cat sed "i wont if ha
An we sed we no can goes bak tehre cuz teh bosscat wuz mean d00d An he sed if u no brngz ur
it silver cup wen u wuz in hiz base eatin ur lunchs? iz wikkid An evil An ur Ceiling Cat sez u no steelz stuf form ppl, rit
An if his kid bro getz ded i wil be so sad An emo An stuffz, i can has hart attackxxz An stuf An ge
An teh 7 dryd up ears eated up teh 7 rly gud ears. cormz
Shem went an lived OMG ANOTHER 500 YRZ and madez more babeez.

So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps taht waz like him, can has c
Isaac sez "GTFO KTHXBAI"
and sez "I pay moniez I rly du"
He also says "I iz Ceiling Cat, I give you lots and lots of urfs to has"
Serug only lasted 200 mor yrz, but still maeded mor babeez.

Doodz, he saiz, plz crash on my couch, you can wash my kittehs feet and I will keck j00 out when I r wo
ventd yet An he sed 2 pharo gon 2 goshen brb An wnet 2 see his old man An dey got all emo An it wuz huggz tiem An dey cryed
I leik dem who leik u, an I DO NOT WANT! dem who DO NOT WANT! you, and I liekd the south africa an
An see, i makez teh flood ov waters upon teh hole urf, 2 pwnz all teh ppl An aminals An stuffz An evryt
Iz how t
An Reuben sed if benjamin getz ded u can pwnz my 2 kidz. i wil mae
Visible Raynbo iz in teh skyz, k? U an me an evrywunz is te
So Jacob hung out 7 yearz 4 Rachel.
cept 4 teh unicornz. And teh drag0nz and stuffs. Ceiling Cat sed 'DO NOT WANT'. and dey stayd out ov teh ark. den Ceiling C
An Ceiling Cat sed Jacob, Jacob. An he sed im in
An dey didnt kno dat Joseph undrstoo
An he knew it, An sed, iz my sons cloths; sum evil aminal eated him liek he
An teh bosscat of teh prison didnt haz to wry about teh dunjon ne mor; cu
But i iz
Teh king of Sodom sayz 2 Abram, "i can has teh kittehs, you keep teh catnip and cheezburgers and stuff"
An wut he tellz us bout teh dremz happ
An he sed wtf i has a money in my bukkit wif teh f00dz An dey gotz all skeerd An almos had heart attaxz An
These bossez from Esau's litter, organyzd an stuff:
And Sarah LOLed and waz liek "WTF!? NO WAI! WE R TEH OLD!!11 LOL"
oeph u no can haz fake Ceiling Cats bases cuz fake Ceiling Cats wil get all pissed off An stuf. but pharo didnt kno taht fa
An they sed thx muchz u is rly gud d00d, u tek caer of us An we wil
out; d00dz an' animalz an' teh creeturz dat moov along teh ground an' teh burdz ov teh air wuz wipd frum teh urfz. only Noa
An teh cheef ov poleesez puts tehm in teh dunjon 4 3 dais.
An dey sed teh bosscat axt us bout our famly An wantd 2 kno if our old manz wuz aliev or not An if we ha
An Ceiling Cat sed Jacob, Jacob. An he sed im in ur beersheba lissenin 2 Ceiling Cat.
An Ceiling Cat madez evry tre dat iz prity, an gud fur fud; teh tr
eez all hiz broz An evn hiz kidbro, he sed 2 hiz butler d00d, u taekz htese hebroo d00dz bak 2 my base An mekz sum cheezbur
Ishmael will getz cheezbur
Midian maek Ephah, Epher, Hanoch, Abida and Eldaah. Keturah maek all o
An all teh dais ov methuselah waz 900 An 60 An 9 yeers (srs
uz jacob sed 2 Joseph, did ur bros gon 2 Shechem 2 getz cookies 4 teh sheepz? i wantz u 2 goez An mek shur deyz alrite. An
An jacobz sons went wif a
dez kitteh owt ov teh flore dust, an breathd ntew his nawstrils teh bref ov life, wich wuz sorta liek doin cpr on a mudpie,


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